Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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