she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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