Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think your dad took our porno
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
