i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
