im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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