Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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