i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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