You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
