hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
