we have pet lesbian snakes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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