Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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