my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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