They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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