Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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