It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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