I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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