So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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