he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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