I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All the doctor said was why
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
