"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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