Jerry, you need to find god
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize