and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
