at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
