the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you never un-have a 4some
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
