my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
