lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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