i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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