Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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