I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
