Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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