he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
