you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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