between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
