i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just high enough for therapy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
