An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
