I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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