I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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