Me too!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
