I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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