Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
