she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
