My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
