How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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