Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
