So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
