If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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