My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
