People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
