2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize