Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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