Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
