Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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