Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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