We're facebook friends in real life
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
someone owes me an orgasm
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
