Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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