butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
