big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
