Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
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The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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