yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
