Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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