i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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