I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
